Owen is sick. He has croup – a typical little kid kind of viral infection that children pick up at school, on the playground, from their siblings, from public restrooms where they insist upon touching everything, from the food that they eat (off the floor – though not the floor of public restrooms, that’s disgusting), etc.
He sounds horrible – somewhere between an overly-excited seal and a dog with laryngitis. He has had a fever ranging from 101-102.5 for the past few days, and his eyes look watery and tired. He is miserable.
I call bullshit.
Where is his exemption? Shouldn’t he get some sort of get-out-of-ear-infections-and-sore-throats free card? Doesn’t that come with a huge life-altering diagnosis like a stroke and all of the “freebies” that come along with that package, like the strabismus, and the weakness on an entire half of his body, and the global developmental delays, and the huge speech delays, And fine and gross motor delays, and the fact that part of his brain is missing!?!?
Why isn’t that in the fine print? Come to think of it, I was never asked to sign a contract.
It all just seems so unfair. The dice were rolled and in Life’s big game of Craps, Owen got crap.
On top of it all, there is nothing I can do to help him. Aside from the fact that this is viral, he won’t even let us give him any sort of medicine to make him more comfortable. The pediatrician had to give him a shot of steroids this morning because he sounds so bad. The nebulizer scares him, so he won’t go near it, and he decided to boycott his chewable Tylenol and Motrin, so there’s no way to get any fever and pain-reducing medicine into him.
We have tried everything to get him to take it. Mixing it into applesauce (which he usually loves), mixing it into chocolate frosting and icing a cupcake with it, and even taking some
recently expired probably completely fine liquid Motrin and mixing chocolate syrup into it and giving it to him via syringe since he can’t drink it out of the tiny cup.
He’s not having it. He’s not buying what we’re selling because he doesn’t understand that it will help him. If I told Parker sixteen months ago when she was exactly his age and she was sick, that the medicine would help her feel better she would have taken it. She did take it. If I told her that two years ago she would have understood and taken it.
But he doesn’t understand. He just doesn’t.
And so I don’t understand either. I don’t know how he can be given all of that and still be expected to deal with this too.
So, here I am, formally petitioning for Owen to get an exemption.
Does anyone know where I can apply for that sort of thing?
The DMV? The AMA? The Mafia? A Rabbi that’s really connected (not necessarily to the Mafia)?
I just feel like there should be some “benefits” to the cards he’s been dealt, and to me, this would be a fair place to start.
Can he at least get free fries with that unfair shake?